Note: This article is Day 6 of David Claassen’s book, Growing Older Gracefully: 31 Reflections on Finishing Well.
We older folks love reminiscing, it’s easy because we have so much material with which we can work. We’ve accumulated a lifetime of memories. It’s hard to ignore these many memories, so we reminisce.
Reminiscing can be good. In fact, it’s essential that we remember and reflect upon the past, because the past made us who we are today. Imagine living with total amnesia, not remembering anything from years ago to a few moments ago. We’d be a conscious being, living in the moment, but with no sense of identity. Our past is a major part of who we are. Life would shrink to something very small if we knew only what was happening today.
Memories can contribute to living today well. Parker Palmer writes, “Calamities I once lamented now appear as strong threads of a larger weave, without which the fabric of my life would be less resilient. Moments of fulfillment I failed to relish in my impatience to get on to the next thing now appear as times to be recalled and savored.”3 Yes, the benefit of age is that we can put both the bad and the good of the past in a better perspective. God can show us how the hurt in the past should impact us for the good in the present. He can also help us appreciate the blessings in the past, so they can bless us all over again.
However, the temptation is to live in the past, yearning for the good ol’ days. But we can’t do this. The past is past. Responsible reminiscing, then, is not living in the past but building on the past. “We can draw lessons from the past, but we cannot live in it,” the late President Lyndon Johnson stated.
This responsible reminiscing should prompt thanksgiving, a crucial practice for any serious follower of God. Thanksgiving is rejoicing in our reminiscing. This is what the psalmist did. “I remember the days of long ago; I meditate on all your works and consider what your hands have done” (Psalm 143:5).
The beauty of growing older is that we have an ever-increasing inventory of past experiences where the Lord came through for us. Reflecting on God’s grace in bygone days, and his mercy through months long past can bolster our confidence that he will see us through what we now face and will face. This is a significant reason why we can have joy in our later years.
The apostle Paul states, “Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:16–18). Yes, we can rejoice always because God is at work in our lives as we remember him working in our past. We’re to pray continually, being in constant communication and communion with him, confident that his ever-present presence in the past is also our current reality. We can give thanks in all circumstances, good or bad, because he will help us survive the present as he has the past.
Not everything in our past is a positive memory. Rose Kennedy, mother of the late President Kennedy, said, “Now I am in my eighties, and I have known the joys and sorrows of a full life. Age, however, has its privileges. One is to reminisce, and another is to reminisce selectively.” We can choose what we dwell on in our past.
Still, there are experiences in our past that are painful and are not easily forgotten. Perhaps the painful memories involve the wrong behavior of others. Sometimes, there’s the recollection of our own failures, mistakes, and sins. When reminiscing results in regretting, we should address how we look at this painful part in our past.
One reality we must face is that we must give up hope of changing the past. Oscar Wilde said, “No man is rich enough to buy back his own past.” Will Rogers said, “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today .”
Though we can’t change past pain, the good news is we can change how we look upon that painful past. One good perspective to adopt when pondering past pain is embracing the truth that God never wastes pain.
I remember drinking coffee at a large heavy wooden table in a coffee shop in Toledo, Ohio. On one end, etched into the wood, were the words, “Re-purposed materials.” God can re-purpose our painful past for present and future good.
Jesus encountered a man who was demon possessed, casting out the demons. I call this man Cemetery Man because his demonic condition had him living among the dead, in a cemetery, naked. People had tried apprehending him, but he had such strength he broke the chains. Can you imagine the reputation he had in the community? The locals, when they saw Cemetery Man clothed and in his right mind because of Jesus’s actions, were so fearful that they asked Jesus to leave their area. Cemetery Man asked Jesus if he could go with Him. Can you blame him? How could he live among the people in his home area, given his past life? Jesus’s response to Cemetery Man? “Return home and tell how much God has done for you” (Luke 8:39). In our senior years, God wants us giving bold testimony of how he helps us move beyond our painful past so we might “tell how much God has done.” We can do so when we’re convinced of what Paul declared. “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Romans 8:28).
Neither does our own sinful past need haunt us, for that is where the grace and mercy of God can come into play. When Christ is our Savior, we’re set free from our sinful past. “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9). We might have a long track record of many sins going into our older age, but they all are reasons for celebrating the Lord’s forgiveness through his grace and mercy bestowed upon us.
Yes, our older age gives us much over which we can reminisce. We have the God-given choice to reminisce responsibly.
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