After speaking at a men’s event, I met with individual men for about 30 minutes. As often happens, I noticed one man hanging back, waiting for the others to leave.
When we were the last two in the room, he approached.
I asked, “What’s going on?” His voice trembled with desperation as he spent ten minutes unpacking a gut-wrenching business crisis that had spilled over into his marriage. When he finished, I said, “Tell me about your Bible-reading habits.”
He reared back in surprise, and then his shoulders slumped and his chin fell to his chest. He muttered, “Well, I used to read the Bible, but with all my problems, I haven’t done that in a long time.”
As we continued to talk, I encouraged him to re-engage God through private devotions—#52 on my list of 70 things every man needs to know.
Many of you reading this already have some form of private devotions. Perhaps you could write this article. If that’s you, think of this as a guide to help someone else get started.
What Are Private Devotions?
Private devotions—sometimes called a “quiet time”—are simply a dedicated period each day to meet with God. It’s a set-apart time to read the Bible, pray, and engage in other spiritual disciplines. That’s it.
John 4:24 teaches that true worshipers must worship God “in spirit and in truth.” True Christianity is knowing God (relationship), not merely knowing about God (discipleship). For this reason, when I do my private devotions, I’m after two things: communion with God for the heart and theology about God for the head. We need both.
And when we open the Bible, we experience both. We’re not just studying ancient words. We’re meeting with the living God—Father, Son, and Holy Spirit—who delights in meeting with us.
Getting Started: A Tutorial
Let’s say you want to start or restart—or help someone else get started—with private devotions. Maybe a child, another family member, or a man you’re coaching.
Here’s a simple definition you can provide to them: “A quiet time is a routine period—usually at the beginning or end of the day—when ten, fifteen, thirty minutes, an hour or more are set aside to read and study God’s Word, pray, and possibly practice other spiritual disciplines.”
Help them start small—“If you don’t already have a time for private devotions, start with ten minutes a day to read one chapter of the New Testament. Do that five days a week, and you will complete the 260 chapters of the New Testament in one year!
“Then pray something simple, such as the Lord’s Prayer, or use an approach known as ‘ACTS’ (adoration, confession, thanksgiving, supplication).”
Encourage them to set a maximum time limit rather than a minimum. They can always add more time later, but starting small keeps the potential for guilt small, too. Tell them clearly: “The best length of time is the one you will actually do. Don’t bite off more than you will chew. Ten minutes may not sound like much, but consistency matters.”
Starting out, they may want to aim for five days a week rather than seven—allowing for early meetings, sick kids, and flat tires. But do encourage them to shoot for daily bread: “You wouldn’t expect to eat once or twice a week and stay physically healthy. Neither can you feed your spirit only once or twice a week and expect spiritual health.”
As you (or they) grow, you can incorporate other spiritual disciplines:
- Meditation: Sit with one verse and ask, “What is God saying to me?”
- Journaling: Write insights, prayers, and questions.
- Fasting: Occasionally skip a meal to sharpen your hunger for God.
- Silence and solitude: Turn off the noise. Simply sit before Him.
- Worship: Play a song that lifts your heart and sing along.
But remember: This is not about checking boxes. It’s about cultivating wisdom and intimacy with God.
When You’re Ready For More—Or More Structure
Here are two practical frameworks:
1) The 30-Minute Plan
- 5 minutes: Opening prayer (invite God into your time)
- 10 minutes: Bible reading
- 5 minutes: Reflection and journaling
- 10 minutes: Prayer using ACTS
2) The One-Hour Plan
- 5 minutes: Opening prayer
- 20 minutes: Bible study (go deeper; use a study Bible if helpful)
- 10 minutes: Meditation and journaling
- 10 minutes: Worship
- 15 minutes: Extended prayer (include others by name)
These are just templates. Adjust them to fit your season of life or desires.
Going Deeper
I remember a pivotal moment at a conference in Windy Gap, North Carolina, years ago. It hit me that my evenings were drifting away in front of a television. Nothing sinful—just an unintentional use of my time. And I realized: If I want more of God, something has to change.
So I decided to start going to bed two hours earlier and getting up two hours earlier: 4:00 a.m. Quiet house. Bible open. Coffee in hand.
At first, it wasn’t easy. But it became one of the most important decisions of my spiritual life. Those early hours gave me clarity, steadiness, and a deeper sense of God’s presence that carried through the day.
You don’t have to start with two hours. Start with ten minutes. But understand this: If you want more of God, you will need to settle for less of something else.
Would You Like to Read Through the Bible?
The Bible can feel daunting—roughly 770,000 words, or a dozen average-length nonfiction books.
But here’s what I’ve learned: You don’t finish the Bible. The Bible finishes you. That’s why I encourage men to read through the Bible yearly—something I’ve been doing since 1988.
If you want to join me, here’s a simple path you can start this week:
- Choose a one-year reading plan.
- Set a regular time.
- Reflect and pray after reading.
- Consider reading with a group for encouragement.
- Keep a journal.
I can think of nothing that has influenced my life more than spending time alone with God. Can you?
Always on your side,
Pat
P.S. Who has expressed interested in getting to know God better? Please forward this email to them.
P.P.S. Next Tuesday I’m going to share some Olympic wisdom. Until then!
Reflection and Discussion Questions
- Reflection (Heart): Do you truly guard your time with God, or do you give Him whatever is left over?
- Understanding (Head): Which simple structure—10 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour—best fits your current season?
- Application (Hands): What one specific change will you make this week to strengthen your private devotions—and who else can you invite to get started?
In 1986, Patrick Morley launched a small Bible study in a bar that grew into Man in the Mirror, a global ministry reaching millions Iof men and thousands of churches. His book The Man in the Mirror became one of the 20th century’s most influential. A leading voice on men’s discipleship, he’s authored 22 books and 750+ articles, with global translations. Patrick holds degrees from UCF, Harvard, Oxford, and Reformed Theological Seminary. He and his wife live in Winter Park, Florida. Learn more at the Patrick Morley website.
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