You are under pressure. You feel like there are not enough hours in the day. You know you can’t do everything, but how do you decide where to spend your time?
Here’s the key thing to remember—the paradigm shift: You have all the time you need to do everything God wants you to do. Figuring out what that looks like can be challenging—but it’s also exciting to discover what God has in mind for you; let’s call this your “balanced life.”
Nothing will help you lead a balanced life more than deciding in advance what your priorities will be—those things to which you assign a high degree of urgency or importance. For that reason, setting priorities should always precede goal setting and decision-making. They are like downloading a planned hike into your GPS app; you’ll always be able to tell whether you’re still on the route you intended. Once you lock down your priorities, for all intents and purposes, you are literally writing history in advance.
This is especially true when it comes to long-term priorities that keep a man balanced: loving God, staying married, being a good dad, doing work that matters, and maintaining financial stability. These are not seasonal concerns; they’re life-shaping commitments.
The Difference Between Values, Priorities, and Pressures
Values are what matter to us at the deepest level. They rarely change. They’re like a north star and includes things like faithfulness, family, doing everything in love, serving others, integrity and long-term relationships.
Priorities are what matter most right now. They may change with circumstances. Family may be a core value, but if you’re out of work, finding a job becomes the priority.
Why is this issue of priorities—#51 on my list of 70 things every man needs to know—so critical to your daily life? Priorities will help you manage the pressures that will otherwise manage you.
You will always face pressures. The question is not whether they will come, but who will be in charge when they do. Setting priorities is deciding in advance what gets your best attention when trade-offs are required. Think of priorities as pre-decisions—tie-breakers for how you will filter competing demands on your time, energy, and attention.
What Are the Christian Man’s Priorities?
There’s no cookie-cutter description of “the Christian man,” and priorities are not one-size-fits-all. A follower of Jesus in Pakistan may have a very different mental picture of a “win” than a follower of Jesus in middle-class America.
That said, while there’s no universal map that will get every man to where he wants to go, there are certain long-term priorities based on biblical values that we do have in common—priorities that can help us manage the pressures that would otherwise manage us. For example, no amount of success at work will ever compensate for failure at home. That’s why I’ve used the same sentence for years to keep my priorities aligned: “Who’s going to be crying at my funeral?”
Here are, generally speaking, the priorities of a Jesus follower. As you read them, ask yourself: What level of “faithful” best describes where I’ve been recently?
- Loving God
- very faithful | mostly faithful | somewhat faithful | not faithful
- Loving People (wife, children, friends)
- very faithful | mostly faithful | somewhat faithful | not faithful
- Vocation (work, rest, recreation, health)
- very faithful | mostly faithful | somewhat faithful | not faithful
- Money (stewardship, giving)
- very faithful | mostly faithful | somewhat faithful | not faithful
- Ministry (serving others, evangelism, calling)
- very faithful | mostly faithful | somewhat faithful | not faithful
How did you do? Did anything surprise you? We all lose focus from time to time. The good news is that clarity creates opportunity; you can reset your priorities and plan accordingly.
If living by priorities feels abstract, Jesus shows us what that looks like in real life.
The Example of Jesus
The best model for priority living is Jesus Himself. He found himself under immense pressure, without enough hours in the day: “At daybreak Jesus went out to a solitary place. The people were looking for Him, and when they came to where He was, they tried to keep Him from leaving them. But He said, ‘I must preach the good news of the kingdom of God to the other towns also, because that is why I was sent’” (Luke 4:42–43).
Notice three things:
- People tried to keep Jesus from leaving. The better job you do, the more people will want from you. Often without meaning to, people will ask you to do good things that meet their needs but don’t align with your priorities.
- Second, Jesus knew His purpose: “That is why I was sent.” His clarity protected Him from being hijacked by the urgency of the moment.
- Third, Jesus did what He was called to do. The pressure to do what is good—but not best—has put many wagons in the ditch.
The rule we learn from Jesus is simple and demanding: Make decisions based on your priorities, not your pressures.
Only you can take personal responsibility for setting priorities. No one else can do it for you. If you fail in any of the key areas listed above, people will feel sorry for you but they won’t feel responsible. So go back to the list above and decide—in advance—what you want your priorities to be.
Because once you settle your priorities, you are writing the history you want to live.
Always on your side,
Pat
P.S. Who is one person you know who would appreciate understanding how Jesus made decisions under pressure? Please forward this message to them.
P.P.S. Next Tuesday I’m excited to share some thoughts on how to practice PRIVATE DEVOTIONS, the difference they make, and a multitude of benefits.
Reflection and Discussion Questions
- Reflection (Heart): Where do you currently feel the most pressure, and how has that pressure been shaping your recent decisions?
- Understanding (Head): How did Jesus distinguish between what was urgently demanded of Him and what He was actually sent to do? How do you distinguish between demands on your time and what’s really important to you?
- Application (Hands): What is one priority you need to decide—or re-decide—this week so pressure doesn’t make the decision for you?
In 1986, Patrick Morley launched a small Bible study in a bar that grew into Man in the Mirror, a global ministry reaching millions Iof men and thousands of churches. His book The Man in the Mirror became one of the 20th century’s most influential. A leading voice on men’s discipleship, he’s authored 22 books and 750+ articles, with global translations. Patrick holds degrees from UCF, Harvard, Oxford, and Reformed Theological Seminary. He and his wife live in Winter Park, Florida. Learn more at the Patrick Morley website.
Image Created by Copilot
Books by Patrick Morley:
0 Comments