Denial Today Could Be Your Door to God’s Destiny
There was a day when not a single college returned his emails. He left high school as a zero-star quarterback because he never started a varsity game in his life. But now, he’s projected to go in the first round of this year’s NFL draft. So, what happened?
I’ll tell you what happened. He was told “NO!”
Heading into his senior year, Drew Mestemaker was a sure bet to be the school’s starting quarterback. He had a successful middle school QB record under his belt. He spent the last three long years of his life waiting for this. Preparing for it. Working hard each and every day for this honor and opportunity.
But then something totally unexpected happened. Out of the blue, an experienced, highly rated quarterback transferred and became the starting quarterback. What was rightfully his was taken away. What he had earned was given to someone else. He was passed over and that coveted position was given to a total stranger. He was crushed.
He was told “NO!”
So instead of being the center of attention, Drew played defense and hit the weight room. He put on lots of muscle and learned everything he could to outsmart quarterbacks. But there was more. Even though he wasn’t the QB, he still worked with a quarterback coach to perfect his throwing technique.
Without any high school experience, colleges couldn’t be less interested in Drew. He sent out lots of emails, made lots of calls, but no one was listening. He did everything right, but all he heard was silence.
He was told “NO!”
Drew walked onto a small college and became their fifth-string quarterback because he knew the coach. He quickly moved up to the number two spot and became the starting QB in his second year. His college quarterback coach put it like this, ““There’s this delusional competitive spirit, when you’ve been told ‘No’ your entire life.”
For the first time since middle school, he was the starting quarterback. The results:
- Led the country with 39 total touchdowns while passing for 4,379 yards.
- Named Offensive Player of the Year.
- Earned First Team All-Conference honors.
- Won the Burlsworth Trophy: most outstanding player that started as a walk-on.
But the story’s not done yet. Not by a longshot. This past year, Drew transferred to a major college football program while landing a two-year NIL deal worth more than $7 million. In his second game, he threw for two touchdowns, ran for another and knocked off the number six team in the country. It was the biggest win in the school’s history.[1]
Drivers, Stop Your Engines!
For Drew, and many of us, the way forward isn’t always forward. Not at all. It might be to the right. To the left. Or even backwards. While these answers may not be in the direction, or at the speed we want, they all do have one thing in common. There is still movement. We have a sense that we’re doing something. Achieving something. Being used by God for His kingdom. For His glory. For the good of many.
But the one answer we hate the most of all is “NO.” NO to getting what we expect. NO to what we think we’ve earned. No to moving on. NO to going forward. No to making any headway or changes at all. Instead of saying, “Drivers start your engines” we’re told, “Drivers, stop your engines”. And we shake our heads before putting our face in our hands in total despair and tears.
Many men and women in God’s story were told “NO!”
- David prayed for the healing of his infant son, but he died. He was told “NO!”
- David wanted to build a temple. He was told “NO!”
- Pilate’s wife warned him not to judge Jesus. She was told “NO”!
- Paul prayed for relief from his “thorn in the flesh”. He was told “NO!”
- Paul prayed to be released from prison. He was told “NO!”
There are at least two steps along the way that we must travel with God when we receive His “NO!” They may not make it less painful, but they can start to show His loving purpose for us and those around us.
Negative.
In the movie, Kelly’s Hero’s[2], there’s an eccentric hippy tank commander called Sargent Oddball. His ace tank mechanic, Private Moriarty, is always complaining, looking at his half-full life as one problem after another. Oddball’s response is that Moriarty is “always making with the negative waves.”
As followers of Jesus Christ, we would be wise to listen to Oddball.
For some reason, our knee-jerk reaction and assumption when our prayers aren’t immediately answered the way we want is that God hates us. He’s hiding something. He’s holding back His best. He’s saying “NO” to punish us. To keep some blessing from us. To hold us back. This is exactly the lie that the serpent said to Eve before there was sin.
In fact, God knows that when you eat it your eyes will be opened and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.
Genesis 3:5 CSB
God’s answer of “NO” can also be used for His great purposes and our salvation. In the Garden of Gethsemane, Jesus prays that this cup would be taken away. In a real sense, God’s answer is “NO!” And when on the cross, Jesus cries out and asks, “why have you abandoned me?” Again, God the Father is saying “NO” to Jesus.
Not Now.
There are also many times that God says “Not Now” to us and our prayers. No matter how desperate our cries, no matter how painful our lives, there are stretches of our life when God’s loving and perfect will is “Not Now.”
I know what you’re thinking. If I wait long enough, If I’m faithful and obedient enough, then God’s going to finally come through. He’ll reward me with what I’ve begged Him for. We may not say the words, but deep down in our hearts we think we’ve earned it and that God owes us.
Yes, God’s promises are certain. Yes, He is totally faithful. Yes, our Father is going to follow-through and do what He’s committed Himself to. It’s an absolute guarantee. But His answers are in His time and in His way.
- Abram wandered for the rest of his life after receiving God’s promise and never arrived.
- Moses ran and hid in the backside of the desert for 40 years without any promise that things would ever change.
- Joseph faithfully served his captors, Potiphar, and in Pharaoh’s prison with no guarantee that he’d ever get out.
And along with the “Not Now” usually comes silence. Standing in the same place. Sitting still. Staying put can be the most painful answer of all. But in the silence of God’s “Not Now”, God is at work. There’s a famous, anonymous poem that says it so very well.
How He ruthlessly perfects
Whom He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which
Only God understands;
While his tortured heart is crying
And he lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks
When his good He undertakes;
How He uses whom He chooses,
And which every purpose fuses him;
By every act induces him
To try His splendor out-
God knows what He’s about.
Like Abram, we might wander in the desert of this life for the rest of our days and never arrive. We may only see the absolute fulfillment of His Promised Land with His eyes of faith, and not the eyes in our heads. But that doesn’t mean we stop trusting Him.
We’re willing to gladly receive His eternal love and salvation in Jesus. We’re eager to be called His children. We accept His free gift of the Holy Spirit to comfort, encourage, and empower us. But what if it doesn’t result in a comfortable life down here on planet Earth?
Now.
And yet, God in His lovingkindness and grace, will sometimes answer the deepest longs of our hearts Now. He is kind beyond our ability to understand. His promises are new every morning. But maybe not in the way we’ve always assumed.
Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart.
Psalm 37:4 NASB
When we delight ourselves in the Lord, this isn’t demanding that we get what we’re yelling for. It’s not jamming our will down His throat. It’s not about us standing tall and strong. It’s just the opposite.
Instead of us being firm, delighting is being soft towards the Lord. He’s in control and we’re letting Him call the shots. Giving Him what He wants. When He wants. We release our rights to Him because He’s God and loves us. He’s the potter and we’re the clay.
The most underdeveloped Spiritual Discipline is that of being pliable. We love to actively do things for God. And there’s nothing wrong with that. But there comes a time when we need to be quiet before the Lord and let Him lead. We must live with the words of Jesus on our lips and in our hearts.
Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.
Luke 22:42 ESV
No matter what you’re going through. No matter how long you’ve been struggling with no end in sight. No matter how many miles you’ve traveled through the desert. The absolute and unmovable promise is God’s love sent Jesus to the cross for you. He understands our weaknesses more than we’ll ever know. The old hymn says it oh so well.
Cast your deadly “doing” down
Down at Jesus’ feet;
Stand in Him, in Him alone,
Gloriously complete.[3]
There are times in our lives when God says “NO”. Your job, my job, our job is to say “NO” to ourselves and say “YES” to God. Let Him be the Lord of our lives.
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Chet Gladkowski spent his professional career in insurance technology, using his leadership and communication skills to help people navigate complex challenges and find practical solutions.
Today, Chet brings those same skills to a deeper purpose: addressing the loneliness, pain, struggles, and heartache people face in everyday life. Through writing and speaking, he challenges readers to look beyond themselves for the hope and healing they cannot find on their own.
His latest book, ServeLife® – How Serving Unlocks Your Purpose answers the question: what if the life you’ve been searching for was right in front of you? Not found not in chasing recognition, money, or power, but in quietly serving others.
Signed copies are available at ChetGladkowski.com while eBook and audio versions are at Amazon.
[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Drew_Mestemaker, https://www.wsj.com/sports/football/drew-mestemaker-oklahoma-state-nfl-draft-66fb708a
[2] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kelly%27s_Heroes
[3] It Is Finished, James Proctor
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