Note: This article is Day 6 of David Claassen’s book, Growing Older Gracefully: 31 Reflections on Finishing Well.
When people are asked who was a significant influence on them growing up, it’s remarkable how often they mention a grandparent, an elderly neighbor, or some other person who was a half century, or more, older. I’ve seen this so often that I call this “the skipped generation syndrome,” meaning that oftentimes a grandparent or other elderly person can influence a child or young person in a way that the parents can’t.
What an opportunity for us to continue impacting our world for good! No wonder the book of Proverbs says, “Children’s children are a crown to the aged” (Proverbs 17:6).
Perhaps this unusual connection between the young and the old is because both generations are often marginalized. Parents with children and teenagers are the busy, distracted generation. If life were a river, parenting generations would be in the fast flow in the middle, navigating rough rapids, while the children and their grandparents would be in the slow-moving waters and swirling eddies along the shoreline. Neither the young nor the old are highly productive in society. They have more time on their hands. Yes, the young and old have much in common.
We who are grandparents and great-grandparents should embrace the wonderful truth that our influence on this younger generation is a significant part of our calling from God for this stage in our life. Even for those who are seniors but have no grandchildren, there is the opportunity for positive influence through nieces and nephews, a neighbor child or some other young person within the sphere of influence. Our prayer should reflect the psalmist’s prayer, “Even when I am old and gray, do not forsake me, my God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your mighty acts to all who are to come” (Psalm 71:18).
In the unfolding of God’s kingdom, there’s a strategic place for children. They are not to be marginalized. We seniors can keep them from being overlooked, following the examples of Simeon and Anna in the Bible. In the birth account of Jesus in Luke’s gospel, the presentation of Jesus in the temple follows the familiar nativity story. Two main players come on the scene to bless Jesus and instruct Mary and Joseph concerning Jesus’s unique personhood. God had told Simeon, presumably an older man, that he wouldn’t die until he met the Messiah child. God had him present in the temple when the young family was there. Simeon took Jesus in his arms and praised God, giving a prophetic word to Mary and Joseph. Then, Luke wrote, there appeared an old woman, a prophetess named Anna. She gave thanks, declaring who this special child was. God the Father had two elderly people come forward to bless and speak concerning his Son Jesus.
Years later, as an adult, Jesus reprimanded his disciples for keeping the children from him, as if he were too important and busy to be bothered by children. He was not. Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these”(Mark 10:14). Then we read, “He took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them” (v. 16).
We who make up the oldest generation have a strategic calling to bless the children God puts within our sphere of influence. The psalmist proclaimed a hopeful blessing when he declared, “May you live to see your children’s children” (Psalm 128:6). We’re in a God-given position to be a blessing, if we’ve been blessed by growing old enough to see our children’s children, or if not having grandchildren, children of an equivalent age.
I asked my friends on Facebook to share the influence a grandparent or other older person had on them[JH1] in their childhood years. A common theme was that the grandparents had the time to give them focused attention. Liz wrote, “They gave me their full attention … I felt valued, listened to and profoundly loved.” Hillary reflected, “I never once questioned their love for me. They always listened with genuine, undistracted interest.” Kathie commented concerning her grandmother, “She said positive things to me. I knew she loved me by the way she treated me.”
Two responses came from cousins who shared the same grandmother, Verna Kay, a long-time member of the church I served. Verna and her husband had reared five sons. She now had a large contingent of grandchildren. While visiting her, I listened as she shared her concerns for her large family. Now widowed, her whole life was wrapped around the Lord, her children, their spouses, and her grandchildren. She had a deep faith, the spiritual matriarch in the family. Granddaughter Michelle wrote, “Before she passed away, we had a conversation I will cherish forever. First, she told me that life goes so incredibly fast and to always be present and trust in the Lord. She then told me how proud she was of me as a beautiful and strong woman (and mother).” Granddaughter Danielle shared, “She was our prayer warrior … She would tell us how much she loved Jesus, she would pray, talk to Jesus, and share the gospel to all whom God sent her way … and allowed her faith in the Lord to be a bright and shining light for all to see!” As the older generation, we have wonderful opportunities for expressing God’s glory and doing his good to the younger generation. The psalmist declared, “But from everlasting to everlasting the Lord’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children.” (Psalm 103:17). We might no longer be as productive in as many ways as we were in our younger years, but we’re in a position as never before to leave a legacy of the Lord and of love.
[JH1]permission to use these quotes?
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