12 April – Update: Just in case you are wondering, Peggy is still at home under my care. I had Health, Nova Scotia, come in and do a re-evaluation of Peg, and they determined that she is definitely in the middle stage of dementia, but that I appear to be managing her requirements, plus my own health and well-being quite well. Peg has been placed on the 24/7 care waiting list for placement, but her name has NOT been activated. All the paperwork has been completed, and when the time does come, it will mean a shorter period of waiting. The biggest concern I had was the increased frequency of her waking up in the night and not wanting to go back to bed. When that happens, because of a lack of required sleep, just about every symptom she experiences seems to go sideways and it is very difficult to manage. However, most times now, when she does get up at night, I am able to talk her into getting back into bed, and she does get the sleep that she requires, as do I. The pattern appears to be a night where she gets up and will not go back to bed, followed by a day or two where she is much more confused than she normally is, followed by a series of good days, that also vary in number. Sometimes it is three or four good days, sometimes longer. The short story is the one or two bad days where she will not go back to bed, are very taxing on both of us, but they are not consecutive, night after night, and thus they are still manageable, because of the reprieve of the good days. Since the last update, there have only been a couple of bad days. Both of us are adapting to the changes, and Peg continues to enjoy the routine and familiarity of being in her own home. As long as I am able, I can’t take that away from her. All of our children support my decision to forego Peg’s placement in a 24/7 facility at this current point in time. Basically, faith in God, and one day at a time. I find that time spent in prayer, and in the presence of God, has a direct correlation on how high and consistent the waves get, in this storm that we both are going through. God is faithful and hears my prayers. His grace is so appreciated. And that is where we currently are.
30 April – Update: The last couple of weeks has been especially trying. I’m just going to share a message I sent to our children (all grown up) because it pretty well captures it all.
”30 Apr – Your Mom slept for about an hour and a half during her morning nap this morning but she is unsettled today. Lethargic pretty well describes her general condition. I made her a toasted English muffin with cheddar cheese in it, which she normally likes, but she wouldn’t eat it. She did eat a rice crispy square with a small glass of milk. I put clean pajamas and a fresh disposable on her this morning, like I normally do most mornings. She doesn’t even want to watch TV today. She likes sitting in the rocking chair by the window in our bedroom, so that she can look outside. I explained to her what happened last night with her not wanting to go to bed, but she doesn’t remember. The only thing that I know of that gets her out of this state is a couple of good night’s sleep. The last two episodes, one major and one minor, have been pretty close back-to-back, so that is difficult on both of us. I asked her if she was sad and she said yes. There was a tear in her eye. Who wouldn’t be? Mine too. I told her that I love her and she said she loves me too. That is where we are. I have no idea how much longer I can try to keep her care, solely taken care of by me, but it is getting more difficult for sure. That which I dread more than anything else is not too far down the road. I need to share this I can’t keep this to myself. Sharing this with you helps. Hard to explain. Love Dad”
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES (Links that I found informative and helpful)
Dementia:Alzheimer’s Disease Detailed Overview – Highly Recommended PDF Downloadable
https://www.youtube.com/@DementiaCareblazers Free YouTube Videos (Very Informative)
https://go.careblazers.com/guide Free Dementia Caregiver Survival Guides (Very Helpful)
https://alzheimer.ca/en/help-support/im-caring-person-living-dementia
https://www.verywellmind.com/the-7-stages-of-dementia-symptoms-and-what-to-expect-6823696
https://www.verywellmind.com/caring-for-a-loved-one-with-alzheimer-s-disease-5208724
https://www.verywellhealth.com/what-not-to-do-to-people-with-alzheimers-disease-97967
https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/i-will-not-forget-you
https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms/restlessness
More to follow.
Worthy is the Lamb! Blessings!
Bruce Cooper is a disciple of Jesus, married to Peggy, with 5 grown up children, 7 grandchildren. He is retired from the Canadian Armed Forces and resides in beautiful Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. a.k.a. “Papa.” To read more of Bruce’s work visit Reasoned Cases For Christ.
Featured Image by mali desha on Unsplash
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