“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”  Proverbs 31:27

I’ve watched a lot of parents over the years, and one of the defining characteristics of godly parents, as opposed to just “good” or even “Christian” parents, can be found in one word—intentionality.

Godly parents are intentional.

Just like the “virtuous woman” of Proverbs 31, or the “wise builder” of Matthew 7, they have a plan. They parent on purpose. They take the physical, relational, emotional, mental, and especially spiritual formation of their children seriously.

INTENTIONAL PARENTS AREN’T PERFECT PARENTS

This doesn’t mean that they do this perfectly. It does mean that they do it purposefully, rather than just shooting from the hip and hoping for the best.

A “hope for the best” mentality doesn’t work for any other area of life, so why would parenting be an exception? It’s not. As the old saying goes, “Aim for nothing, and you’ll hit it every time.”

INTENTIONAL PARENTS AREN’T IDENTICAL PARENTS

This also doesn’t mean that they do things identically to other families who are striving to be intentional. Intentionality may look differently in every godly home, because it’s not a cookie-cutter approach.

Your parenting approach will be as intentionally unique as you are. Don’t worry, this is by God’s design. Your kids are becoming you, so walk closely with Christ. As I’ve said many times before, “If you’re intentionally striving to honor God in your parenting, you can’t ruin your kids. You’re not that powerful.”

But at the same time, intentional parenting is quite the opposite of just shooting in the dark and hoping for the best.

INTENTIONAL PARENTS HAVE MORE THAN JUST GOOD INTENTIONS

Intentional parents have an end goal in mind (Prov. 22:6), and systems in place to help them reach it. Why? Because they understand the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity before them. So their actions and decisions reflect that in what they prioritize, how they discipline, and how they invest into the spiritual health of their children, etc.

This past weekend, my wife and I were blessed to spend some time with a young couple who grew up as kids in our ministry. They are now parents in the thick of parenting with five young children.

It was so encouraging to see their desire to do things right and to be intentional in this crucial season of their children’s lives.

You could see this desire in the specific questions they asked, the way they carried themselves around their children, and the patience and grace they exhibited with their kids. It was a beautiful demonstration of intentional parenting.

Can your home be described by intentionality?

Or are you expecting many things you want (values, culture, character) to simply happen by default?

What we hope to see in our homes, and in the hearts of our kids, takes intentionality, not just good intentions.

Because the culture of your home is either the one you’ve intentionally chosen to create or one you’ve inadvertently allowed to create a life all it’s own.

“Every family ends up somewhere but few families end up somewhere on purpose.”

Be one of the few—a family that ends up somewhere on purpose.

What is one way you could practice more intentional parenting this week in your home?

For the next generation,
Andrew

Andrew Linder is a husband, the father of four awesome kids, and a children’s pastor at a thriving church. He is the founder of GodlyParent.com and is passionate about intentional parenting and helping other parents and leaders effectively reach the next generation. He is also the author of the new book, Godly Parenting In An Ungodly World: How to raise not just good but godly kids through heart-driven grace-based parenting.

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