How you spell Love in a Marriage: Time

Lately I’ve been thinking about what really matters most in marriage, and I keep coming back to something very simple: the most valuable thing I can possibly give my spouse is my time.

Not money. Not gifts. Not grand gestures.

Just time.

Time is the one thing I can’t earn back. When I give it, I’m giving a piece of my life. And when I choose to spend that time with her—whether we’re doing something exciting or completely ordinary—I’m saying, without words, you are worth this part of my life.

I’ve realized it doesn’t have to be big moments. It can be going to the grocery store together. It can be sitting on the couch after a long day. It can be joining her in something she enjoys, even if it wouldn’t normally be my first choice. The activity itself isn’t really the point. The point is presence. Even if I don’t love the hobby, I love her. And over time, I’ve learned that being with her makes almost anything meaningful.

I also think the gift of time works both ways. There’s something powerful about giving your spouse a day that’s entirely theirs—whatever they want to do, that’s what you do. No complaints. No rushing. Just wholehearted participation. That kind of intentionality says, “Your joy matters to me.”

In a world that constantly pulls at our attention—phones buzzing, schedules packed, responsibilities piling up—being fully present feels almost rebellious. Turning off devices. Having uninterrupted conversations. Asking about her day and actually listening. Sharing hopes, fears, frustrations. Cooking together. Going for a walk. Sitting in comfortable silence. These small, repeated moments quietly build something strong and lasting.

When I think about marriage through a biblical lens, I’m struck by how much Scripture emphasizes love, honor, and understanding. In Ephesians 5, husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church—sacrificially, intentionally, selflessly. That kind of love isn’t passive. It gives itself up. It shows up.

1 Peter 3:7 talks about living with your wife in an understanding way, showing honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life. That means paying attention. Learning her heart. Being gentle instead of harsh, like Colossians 3:19 warns against. It means speaking truth in love, as we’re taught in Ephesians 4:25.

And then there’s the beautiful reminder in 1 Corinthians 13:4–7 that love is patient and kind, not self-seeking, not easily angered, keeping no record of wrongs. When I really sit with that, I realize that kind of love requires time. You can’t be patient if you’re always rushing. You can’t be kind if you’re distracted. You can’t truly cherish someone if you’re never fully present.

I’m learning that marriage isn’t sustained by intensity—it’s sustained by consistency. By showing up over and over again. By choosing each other in the small, quiet moments no one else sees.

Time together builds intimacy.
Presence builds trust.
Sacrifice builds love.

At the end of the day, I don’t want my wife to just know that I love her in theory. I want her to feel it in practice. I want her to feel chosen, seen, and valued—not because I said the right words, but because I gave her the most valuable thing I have: my time.

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for bringing our hearts together in love. Bless our marriage and guide us as we begin this new life together.

Help us to love one another with patience, kindness, and understanding. Give us strength in difficult times and joy in the good moments. May our home be filled with peace, faith, and laughter. We will  always keep you at the center of our lives and our marriage.

In Jesus’ name, Amen.

Verse:
“Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” — Matthew 19:6

Patrick Brown was born at Davis Monthan Air Force Base in Tucson, AZ on February 25^th, 1949. He became a Christian Believer when he stepped off the plane in Vietnam in 1971. Since that time, he has devoted his life to the Lord through ministering as a Sunday School teacher in various churches in Mississippi. He is a graduate of Exploding Evangelism (EE) and certified as a Gospel Evangelist Trainer. Patrick is a member on staff at Christian Grandfather Magazine in charge of Daily Devotionals. He and his wife, Sherrilyn, enjoy retirement in Ridgeland, MS. They have two Daughters, five Grandsons and two Great Grandsons.

Image by DEEPAI